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THE FAILURES OF

GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT

TRANS

Did you know that transgender and nonbinary youth in Texas have directly stated that they're feeling stressed, using self-harm, and considering suicide due to anti-LGBTQ laws that I'm so furiously trying to pass? I'm against the gays and weirdos. If you aren't white and straight, don't even bother.

GUNS

Let's focus on what's important when it comes to gun issues...mentally unwell people. I want these mentally unstable bastards to have the help they deserve....what's that?...I cut $211 million from the Texas Health and Human Services Commission, which oversees mental health services?

GRID

 Texas's power grid has long been separate from the two major national grids to avoid federal oversight. This disconnection made it difficult for the state to import electricity from other states during the crisis of February 2021. Experts continue to warn that Texas could face another grid failure. I believe the power grid is mentally unstable and nothing else. I will look into thi...what's that?...that's my solution for everything?

ABOUT ME

I've served as the 48th governor of Texas since 2015. A member of the Republican Party, I served as the 50th attorney general of Texas from 2002 to 2015 and as a member of the Texas Supreme Court from 1996 to 2001. Now that the Wikipedia info is out of the way, let's get serious. I am partly responsible for the deaths of students killed in school shootings. It could've been worse! My current goal is to make sure you forget about the clusterfuck called, Uvalde. More on that in my "Guns" section!

 

TESTIMONIALS

“He always tells me how much he wishes I was a cat.”

Pancake

Abbott's Dog